Let them say

Never let other people stop u, Let them say
 
Because:
 
#99.9% of the times it has no meaning, they are trapped in their Self (Expectations, Importance …blah..blah) hence the repertoire. We are being a fool to try and find meaning in it.
 
#0.1% is genuine feedback for growth or wellness use this to your advantage.
 
It’s easy to differentiate follow ur instincts, not the brain.
 
Questioning everything what others say erodes self. Not allowing to find our calling in life. Just keep doing, be relentless like a child and let them say.
 
Remember this to ur core:
 
“एक कान से सुनकर दूसरे कान से निकाल देना”: = “Hear from one ear and let it go from other ear without any interpretations and judgments”

Innovators or Leaders

Creators, Designers, Chefs, Programmers, Individual Contributors….

They have the power to create something thru their skills, be it program, design, food, clothes that others can use.

Leaders, Entrepreneurs, Managers, Business Owners….

They use other’s powers to create and build something that others use.

Yes, there are commonalities, but one is incomplete without the other. Need both (Mix n match) to grow and make a difference.

7 Things to Avoid in Parenting

Have you wondered how children from the same school, same class, and similar surroundings differ so much? One performs well whereas others could not do so well.
Parenting is the main differentiator, hence it’s critical for us to understand and avoid these 7 things in the bests interest of our children.

Tyranny – Parents are always right

We believe that we know everything good or bad for them. We are strict and aggressive to make them learn things faster and ace in everything. We use harsh words or sometimes give physical punishments if they do not perform as expected.
Look at Hitler, his father used to beat him even for the smallest mistake till he fainted. His handicapped Aunt used to traumatize him and make him suffer. He absorbed this pattern in childhood, taking it to adulthood. He killed more than 60 lacs people and murdered all the handicapped people in Germany.
Of course, we couldn’t compare ourselves with him. But in small ways, we emulate the tyranny with our children which leads to very traumatic and painful experience for them.
 
Children have the caliber to understand almost everything, hence we should befriend them instead of getting impatient and aggressive. Think about this, we can help them more as friends than as parents.

Taunting

We taunt them so that they do not repeat the same mistakes. A lot of times these are unintentional comments. For example, if the child gets late for school. “You are always late to get ready for school”, but the child thinks I was late few times why I am told like this? The child either gets gloomy about it or rebel it. Instead of that, we can put a positive word, “You always get ready for school why got late today”
 
Here are a few common examples, we should try and make things positive:
  • You will never learn this – to – You are doing well, you can learn this also.
  • You are a fool – to – You have done a mistake this time, don’t repeat the same, you are such a good boy
  • You will not understand till I punish you – to – You are mature enough to understand, you should try this urself.

Comparison with others

Every child is different, even if twins, they will be different. In some areas, she will be better than others whereas in some she will struggle. In today’s environment there is already so much competition between kids, why create more pressure by comparison? Comparison of every small detail can lead to chronical inferiority and depression. Also, it nullifies the child’s innovative pathways and creativity for life.
 
Lastly, most of everything a child does is due to Parents, hence if she is failing in comparison with others in some areas, we are equally responsible. We need to understand that she cannot excel in everything and should balance this based on her choices.

Keep treating them like a baby

Sometimes even though they grow out of age we still treat them as a baby. We laugh at their comments, make fun of them and not take them seriously. All this was good for an initial couple of years but as soon as a sense of personality comes in this become very unhealthy. It may lead the child to close out on us, they may not tell it upfront. Instead, treat them with respect, listen to them and show the respect they deserve.

Scolding or threatening for small things

If a glass is broken, we immediately scold “You don’t even know how to handle this, never touch it again”. Instead say “Be careful with glass, sometimes even we make mistake and break it so be extra careful”, take a positive approach.
 
Also, we threaten them to get things done, for example, to ensure they sleep timely, “if you do not sleep now, a ghost will come and take u”
All these have a lasting impact on them, again let’s trust them to understand the priority of things. If going to bed timely is critical let’s make them understand by logic why its priority? Also, we need to lead by example. We cannot have them sleep early if we are not sleeping early. They are smart enough to figure this out and emulate us.

Spoil them by always agreeing to their demands

We show our love by giving whatever they wish, leading to egoistic and bully behavior. The child thinks that the world is around them and we owe them everything. They also start telling lies since they know parents will agree to anything.
 
We need to keep balance and sometimes a strict “no” is required. Also, they should know that they cannot get away with lies.

Wrong influence or bad company

As responsible parents, it’s our duty to ensure they do not get into wrong influence or bad company. For this, we need to keep talking to them about their friends and habits. Thinking that they are grown-ups and we do not need to interfere is not good for them. Once a situation like these gets out of hand it becomes very difficult to handle. With growing distractions in today’s environment, it is important to work with them as friends on this.
 
In the end, Parenting is a very rewarding and soothing experience for us as Parents. And with children, we relive some of our childhood again. But at the same time, it’s a balancing act to ensure success and happiness of our children for the future.
 
Please share ur thoughts in comments.

Thinking in the box..

If you look in the pasts and recall when have you taken the right decisions in a life-changing situation? For example, while buying a house where you have so many choices, you were able to select a house with good returns. Or choosing between two jobs, you selected the best one and are doing good in your career path.
 
The difference between a successful person and a failed one is that successful person takes a lot of good decisions. Implying that if we can make good decisions we will be successful. There is an old saying in Hindi “पैसा पैसे को खींचता है” meaning “Rich people keeps getting richer” reason they keep getting richer is by making right decisions confidently. Making the right decisions and the right time!
 
So how do we improve our chances of making the right decisions?
 
We need to let go of all our emotions and past history, for example, while buying a house do not compare with neighbors, but spend time in researching the area and future prospects. Take all the facts, information of the areas around, nearby offices, why u want to buy investment purpose or living purpose, etc….
 
Start “Thinking in a box” remove all the clutter, irrelevant, emotional thoughts and think very objectively.
 
It’s not easy to remove the clutter and have a free mind to decide, but if we can, most of our decisions can or will be successful.
 
So let’s try and use this framework of mind to make a better future for ourselves.

Yes, Its Good to compare with Others…

Don’t compare with others! That’s what everyone keeps telling. But Why not?
 
I say its good to compare with others, but do it with this small shift in mindset.
 
Compare yourself with others in the Future. While comparing ask this question to urself:-
 
In the next 3 years where I will be and where s/he will be?
 
Do this for every comparison you make, big or small. You will be achieving much higher success thru this and be more determined to see yourself at your bests!
 

A Mind’s Favourite Time Pass….

 

Minds Favourite Time pass

Past, Pity, and Anger
A Mind’s Favourite Time Pass
So most of the time it spends with them
Even though it knows there is nothing beneath them

Hence lend your mind Action and Act
Don’t allow it to play dwelling act.

If only you control the mind
And keep believing in Action.
Action becomes you in time
And Life becomes Inspiring & Kind.

 

How to build the Best Team…

“Best Team” is the holy grail for any company big or small. But it’s not easy to build a top-notch team. Here are a few things, that’s critical to build the “Best Team”
 
# Hiring:– Hiring is one of the most complex problems. Its a multi-billion dollar industry but still difficult to find the bests. It’s not about skill-set but a lot of soft parameters and that’s where we fail to judge most of the times.
Further budget constraints, timing issues – how to hire a skill-set at a particular time. Attitude & culture fit with the current team.
 
All this makes it much more difficult. So how do we hire the best person with the right skills, the right attitude, fits well with the team?
 
One solution is to always keep hiring, keep looking for talent, especially in the most critical teams. For example, if you are a tech company, always keep looking for good tech talents. Always!
 
# Invest in your best performers:- Focus on best performers they are your assets, nurture them to go the next level. With this, your team can grow in the best way possible.
 
# Layoff non-performers ASAP:- Don’t be scared to fire non-performers as soon as you know. Things are already in a mess if you have a non-performer.
Forget trying to mold them, giving them chances, you are wasting your critical time and money. More than anything it actually de-motivates the performers as well. Move on fast…
 
It gives another reason to keep hiring to replace the non-performers as soon as possible.
 
# Strong HR:- Don’t think of HR as a support function. HR is most critical for both hiring and creating productive teams. They help build culture, team motivations and help scale the team. Build a strong HR team.
 
# Build Team Top Down:- Hire the leaders first, invest time in hiring the best managers or team leaders. They can help you build the “Best Team”. This might be difficult because of budget constraints but whenever possible try to do get the Seniors or Leaders first in the team.
 
I find the above points very critical for the making of the “Best Team”, though it’s not full proof. Let me know your thoughts by adding comments below.