Shubh

Resisting Imposter Syndrome When You Weren’t the First Choice…

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It’s not uncommon to experience imposter syndrome in a new job. When you know you weren’t the first choice for the role, your feelings of self-doubt may be amplified. Here’s how to rebuild your confidence.
 
Start by clarifying the gaps with your manager. Have a candid conversation about what was missing that didn’t make you the obvious first choice. Project humility, curiosity, and confidence. You can open by saying something like, “I’d love to know what you perceive as my gaps and what I can do to fill them.”
 
Use what you learn immediately. Some of the feedback may be difficult to hear, but it will be invaluable as you set out to prove yourself in the new role. Set targets and goals with your manager, and create a game plan to ensure you hit them.
 
Promote yourself with your new peers. Set up informal, one-on-one meetings with these leaders as soon as possible. Your goal is to introduce yourself—or reintroduce yourself—in the context of the new role.

Ask Yourself These Questions at the Midpoint of Your Career…

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It’s normal to wrestle with feelings of unmet expectations, missed opportunities, and paths not taken as you reach the midpoint of your career. But arriving at middle age is also a profound opportunity to reflect and blaze a new path. Start by asking yourself these questions.
 
What could I regret in 10 years? Imagine the disappointment you might feel in the future if you don’t take certain actions today, and use that as a motivating force.
 
How do I define and tap into my purpose? Shift from a career shaped by external forces and others’ agendas to one driven by what you find meaningful.
 
What are my values and priorities today? You may find that they’ve changed over time. Carefully consider which compromises you’re willing to make—and which ones you aren’t.
 
What mastery have I developed? Reflect on the skills and knowledge you’ve acquired thus far in your career, and consider how you might use them to fulfill your purpose, values, and priorities.
 
What do I want my days to look like? As you think big, don’t lose sight of the minutia. Get microscopic and consider what you want the particulars of your daily routine to look like.

Stay Grounded Amid Organizational Chaos…

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Big changes at work (layoffs, reorgs, or the departure of an important colleague, for example) can stir up big feelings. How can you stay grounded amid organizational chaos?
 
Give yourself grace. Let yourself feel your feelings. Change can be disorienting, so be gentle with yourself.
 
Build resilience. Take a purposeful pause and allow yourself to imagine the worst-case scenarios. What could make me and what could break me? This type of reflection will help you shift from a defensive mindset to a growth mindset that embraces new possibilities.
 
Seek support…strategically. Decompressing with colleagues can feel cathartic, and some venting may be unavoidable. But try not to lean too heavily on your colleagues. It’s safer to confide in trusted personal relationships outside of work.
 
Be positive and opportunistic—but stay objective. You can choose to look at the chaos as an obstacle to overcome, or as a chance to grow. But remember: If you find yourself constantly feeling destabilized, it’s worth considering whether you’re in the right place. The chaos could be a catalyst for reevaluating your current position and considering what you want out of your career.

Overcoming Overthinking…

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Overthinking can take three forms: rumination, overanalyzing, and future tripping. Here’s how to spot and handle each one—before they cause you to spiral, stress, and ultimately burn out.
 
Rumination. This is a mental loop where you dwell on past events, particularly negative or distressing ones. If you tend to fixate on negative feedback, bring up past failures in conversation with others, or you’re overly cautious about work, you might be a ruminator. To diffuse your rumination, set aside 15 to 30 minutes to grapple with these negative thoughts. This will help you compartmentalize and stop yourself from ruminating constantly throughout the day.
 
Overanalyzing. Procrastinating, over-relying on others’ approval, and experiencing difficulty prioritizing are all tendencies of overanalyzers. To break the cycle, shift your aim from “perfect” to “good enough.”
 
Future tripping. If you spend excessive energy planning for every possible scenario, or you find it hard to celebrate your successes because you’re always thinking about what’s next, you’re likely a future tripper. To address it, use your forward-looking tendencies to your advantage by projecting yourself into a future where the stress of this moment is behind you.

Gain More Confidence in Your Managerial Judgment

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Transitioning from being an individual contributor to a people manager is hard. You’re no longer only responsible for your own work and career; your decisions now have a direct impact on somebody else’s professional life. This can feel like a lot of responsibility—and it is! But there are habits you can build to develop your managerial judgment.

Listen. You may feel pressure to come up with an answer to every question or a solution to every problem. But remember that asking the right questions and listening—to your team, superiors, and key stakeholders—is an equally important leadership skill.

Consider a range of options. Poor judgment often comes from an inability (or unwillingness) to consider all the possible solutions to a given problem. To expand your point of view, ask trusted colleagues for input: “I’ve identified options A and B, and here are the trade-offs I see. What am I missing?”

Trust data…and your intuition. Good judgment ought to be backed up by data. But data alone can’t tell you whether a decision is right or wrong. Learn to trust your intuition. Your emotions, such as a feeling of discomfort, might be a clue that something is off or that you need further input.

Be patient. Snap decisions that go awry can be costly and hurt your credibility. Following a good process can help ensure that you form solid opinions and make decisions you can stand behind.

Use Curiosity to Keep Your Meetings on Track…

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Are your meetings chronically disengaging—or worse, easily derailed? It may be time to introduce curiosity into the agenda to keep people focused and things on track.
 
First, direct the team’s attention to identifying the problem you’re there to solve. Rather than doing this for them, ask everyone in the room to define the goal of the meeting in one sentence. Clarifying a collective mission at the outset will help align team members and reduce confusion or irrelevant sidebars.
 
Then let your employees do the talking. Just because you’re leading the meeting doesn’t mean you have to dominate it. Show curiosity, ask others for their opinions before sharing your own, and actively listen. This is a powerful way to engage and empower people.
 
Finally, offer feedback—but avoid judgmental language. Judgment is the opposite of curiosity and can discourage and demotivate your team, leading to stilted, unproductive meetings. If you’re unsure how you feel about an idea, probe it. Simply saying “say more” is a nonjudgmental way of expressing curiosity and maintaining meeting momentum.

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