A sign of a good leader is not how many followers you have, but how many leaders you create
Here is the definition of “Addiction” – “the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance or activity.”
In the case of “Thinking“: Mind’s condition of “nonstop thinking” is an addiction.
How much thinking we do on daily basis? Look at the hours we spent on thinking about oneself, what we did, what shouldn’t do, what we had done, how we can change this, what others are thinking about us. Blah, Blah, Blah…Mind just keeps rambling about all the things, true, untrue and more…
How can we stop thinking and start doing actions? Maybe cut the thoughts and just live the moment. Why shouldn’t we set hours, do things, to act, without thinking, without judging?
Imagine how a child interacts with surroundings without thinking and enjoying everything, this is one of the reasons children can do a lot of activities without even getting tired once……
Thinking drains so much of our energy, as it drags us to mindless loop and specifically if its negative or worrisome thoughts? How can we get rid of these looping thoughts of negativity or worrying?
I think (What a dilemma I am still thinking :)) We can accomplish a lot of things if we just take up actions, without thinking and blocking ourselves. What do you say?
Parenting is often a rinse and repeat of this scenario: “Ideas you have about how it should be, combined with what experience is telling you to do, overlaid with too many options and chronic exhaustion.”
Let’s look at different ways in which we can make it bit easy and more accessible to be doing it:
#Adaptation: We all know the meaning of Adaptation:-“Species Adapt to Change”. As a parent, we have this notion of following a righteous path and giving no room for change. If our child has to sleep at 10:30 she has to sleep at 10:30 period. Maybe this notion came from peers or our own ideas to be disciplined? Why not adapt based on our child, based on the situation. Every child has different needs and it changes very drastically with their age.
We can get out of this type of thinking if we reframe ‘changing’ as ‘adapting’. And stop critisizing ourselves for our inevitable parenting mistakes, to get out of the no-point comparisons with our peers, and to give us the freedom to make changes depending on the situation.
#Bigger Picture: Yes, I know what bigger picture got to do with Parenting? Think about it what is it we want our children to learn? Most importantly – To be successful in life or may be to be successful in studies, career or sports. Or you might have some bigger dreams for them.
Now if your child is not cleaning her room, or keeps a messy room. But good in studies and shown a keen interest in chess. Instead of badgering every day for messy room, can’t we find a middle territory and let them be for these lesser things.
At the end what we want is for them to come to us for help when life gets really complicated? If yes then we need to focus on behaviors that will allow having that strategic influence on them. Making them feel crappy every day because the shirt is not matching with pants or because all the Pokemon cards are on the floor, isn’t going to cut it. Make no mistake, letting go of smaller things is not about throwing out all the rules. This is about knowing which battles to fight, so you can keep the middle territory of the trust and respect with your child.
#Removing obstacles, doing less of: Its not always about finding solutions, but sometimes about reducing obstacles. When it comes to parenting, we need to ask ourselves not only what we could be doing more of, but also what we could be doing less of.
When my friend was going on month number nine of her baby waking up four times a night, she felt at her wits’ end. She had been trying different techniques and strategies, thinking that there was something she wasn’t doing right. When nothing seemed to be working, she stopped trying to add elements like new tactics and changed her strategy. She looked instead for obstacles to remove. Was there anything preventing the baby from sleeping through the night?
The first night she made it darker. No effect. The second night she made it warmer. Her son has slept through the night ever since. It wasn’t her parenting skills or the adherence to a particular sleep philosophy that was causing him to wake up so often. Her baby was cold. Once she removed that obstacle with a heater the problem was resolved.
We do this all the time, trying to fix a problem by throwing new parenting philosophies at the situation. What can I do better? More time, more money, more lessons, more stuff. But it can be equally valuable to look for what you could be doing less of. In so doing, you may enrich your relationships with your children immeasurably.
With these let’s try and to be more successful in our Parenting, Happy Parenting to you!
Please share your thoughts or comments below.
Are you stuck without any ideas on how to take your product to next level, or achieve next product goal(s)? Our usual idea meetings takes infinite amount of time and without any conclusion. And whats more not everyone contributes to the ideas.
Here is a simple process which gets rid of all these issues, please try and share your feedback.
To implement speedstorming, need to have a minimum of five people who have some familiarity with your market, five blank sheets of paper, and a watch.
Here is how it works:
1. Seat all five people at a table and give them each a blank sheet of paper. Make
sure they know that during this exercise they can’t discuss their ideas or look at
one another’s sheets of paper.
2. Tell them all to come up with three product features/ideas, give them five minutes, and set
the timer on your watch for five minutes.
3. When the timer goes off, have the participants pass their paper to the person
seated to their left.
4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 five times, except the final time have everybody give their
sheets to the person leading the product development effort.
Just like that, you should have 75 ideas to consider for your product. Even if two thirds
of the suggestions are not particularly useful, this would still leave you with 25
pretty decent ideas to start from.
What makes this process work well is that it gets all five people involved. If you were
to try to do the same exercise with a whiteboard, you would likely get far fewer ideas,
and some of the people in the room would contribute little, often because they are
shy. This process gets everyone involved, and it’s actually fun as well!
If we don’t learn to embrace being uncomfortable, we will need to learn how to embrace irrelevance, and that will be much harder.
Can we control our anger?
We all get angry and sometimes we do not have control or choice over the conditions which gets us angry. It might be boss or a colleague. Whatever be the reason it eats up a lot of our time and makes us feel very negative about everything else.
So how can we control our anger or at least come back to the normal condition in lesser time? Here are some of the points which we can try:
1. Identify the cause or trigger – Try to avoid the trigger which causes anger.
2. Walk away – Just walk away from the scenario or place. Yes, it sounds weak, but actually, it’s being much stronger controlling your anger.
3. Let go – Let it go, some things are beyond our control so just let it go.
4. Feel good – Switch your brain to something more interesting, some other sensations like below:
- Eyes – Watch something which is of your interests or funny etc. Take a walk in nature etc. Or Read something interesting.
- Ears – Sooting music can really bring your mood up
- Taste – Eat something which you like.
- Skin – Take a warm bath or go swimming.
- Smell – A fragrance which you like most
Based on these go try it out, and be less angry more healthy!!
Should we try and have two or three careers simultaneously, this can provides loads of positives, in terms of monetary benefits, more fulfilling, utilizing our varied skill sets in multiple verticals etc…
But does this work in Indian or rather Asian context? Here are some of the points which do not allow us to jump in two pools so easily:
1. Keep Everyone Busy Syndrome: Keeping Employee busy is one of the key thoughts ingrained deeply in all employers/managers and bosses. The notion is to keep everyone under you busy. I remember one of my previous company, we had a finance manager, his idea was if u want to ensure that your team is performing best, keep them as much busy with work as possible. It implies that getting the time out of your one career is difficult and not exactly friendly to your current employer.
2. Stable job and financial well being: Once we are in a stable job and financially secure, we do not want to invest in another career. Raise your hands who all are in govt jobs/ public sectors earning enough, do u want to become a guitarist as other career option? Nah not many …
3. Commitment towards Personal Growth: If we need to have two careers we should have a commitment to our personal growth since some of the careers path like music or creative side takes much longer time to get productive in terms of returns. We are born with the mentality of doing things for short term money, fame or peer pressures. Developing a career and then choosing another takes lots of time/patience and commitment.
4. Lastly, lesser job opportunities: Some of the graduate students are not even able to get one single job, thinking about two is out of the question.
Personally, I think opting for two careers is definitely a great idea and can be very fulfilling but whether we can take it up?