Parenting…

 

Parenting is often a rinse and repeat of this scenario: “Ideas you have about how it should be, combined with what experience is telling you to do, overlaid with too many options and chronic exhaustion.”

Let’s look at different ways in which we can make it bit easy and more accessible to be doing it:

#Adaptation: We all know the meaning of Adaptation:-“Species Adapt to Change”. As a parent, we have this notion of following a righteous path and giving no room for change. If our child has to sleep at 10:30 she has to sleep at 10:30 period. Maybe this notion came from peers or our own ideas to be disciplined? Why not adapt based on our child, based on the situation. Every child has different needs and it changes very drastically with their age.

We can get out of this type of thinking if we reframe ‘changing’ as ‘adapting’. And stop critisizing ourselves for our inevitable parenting mistakes, to get out of the no-point comparisons with our peers, and to give us the freedom to make changes depending on the situation.

#Bigger Picture: Yes, I know what bigger picture got to do with Parenting? Think about it what is it we want our children to learn? Most importantly – To be successful in life or may be to be successful in studies, career or sports. Or you might have some bigger dreams for them.

Now if your child is not cleaning her room, or keeps a messy room. But good in studies and shown a keen interest in chess. Instead of badgering every day for messy room, can’t we find a middle territory and let them be for these lesser things.

At the end what we want is for them to come to us for help when life gets really complicated? If yes then we need to focus on behaviors that will allow having that strategic influence on them. Making them feel crappy every day because the shirt is not matching with pants or because all the Pokemon cards are on the floor, isn’t going to cut it. Make no mistake, letting go of smaller things is not about throwing out all the rules. This is about knowing which battles to fight, so you can keep the middle territory of the trust and respect with your child.

#Removing obstacles, doing less of: Its not always about finding solutions, but sometimes about reducing obstacles. When it comes to parenting, we need to ask ourselves not only what we could be doing more of, but also what we could be doing less of.

When my friend was going on month number nine of her baby waking up four times a night, she felt at her wits’ end. She had been trying different techniques and strategies, thinking that there was something she wasn’t doing right. When nothing seemed to be working, she stopped trying to add elements like new tactics and changed her strategy. She looked instead for obstacles to remove. Was there anything preventing the baby from sleeping through the night?

The first night she made it darker. No effect. The second night she made it warmer. Her son has slept through the night ever since. It wasn’t her parenting skills or the adherence to a particular sleep philosophy that was causing him to wake up so often. Her baby was cold. Once she removed that obstacle with a heater the problem was resolved.

We do this all the time, trying to fix a problem by throwing new parenting philosophies at the situation. What can I do better? More time, more money, more lessons, more stuff. But it can be equally valuable to look for what you could be doing less of. In so doing, you may enrich your relationships with your children immeasurably.

With these let’s try and to be more successful in our Parenting, Happy Parenting to you!

Please share your thoughts or comments below.

Speedstorming for Product Ideas

Are you stuck without any ideas on how to take your product to the next level, or achieve next product goal(s)? Our usual idea meetings take an infinite amount of time and without any conclusion. And what’s more not everyone contributes to the ideas.

Here is a simple process which gets rid of all these issues, please try and share your feedback.

To implement speedstorming, need to have a minimum of five people who have some familiarity with your market, five blank sheets of paper, and a watch.

Here is how it works:

1. Seat all five people at a table and give them each a blank sheet of paper. Make sure they know that during this exercise they can’t discuss their ideas or look at one another’s sheets of paper.

2. Tell them all to come up with three product features/ideas, give them five minutes, and set the timer on your watch for five minutes.

3. When the timer goes off, have the participants pass their paper to the person seated to their left.

4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 five times, except for the final time have everybody give their sheets to the person leading the product development effort.

Just like that, you should have 75 ideas to consider for your product. Even if two thirds
of the suggestions are not particularly useful, this would still leave you with 25
pretty decent ideas to start from.

What makes this process work well is that it gets all five people involved. If you were to try to do the same exercise with a whiteboard, you would likely get far fewer ideas,
and some of the people in the room would contribute little, often because they are shy. This process gets everyone involved, and it’s actually fun as well!

Different ways to control anger….

Can we control our anger?

We all get angry and sometimes we do not have control or choice over the conditions which gets us angry. It might be boss or a colleague. Whatever be the reason it eats up a lot of our time and makes us feel very negative about everything else.

So how can we control our anger or at least come back to the normal condition in lesser time? Here are some of the points which we can try:

1. Identify the cause or trigger – Try to avoid the trigger which causes anger.

2. Walk away – Just walk away from the scenario or place. Yes, it sounds weak, but actually, it’s being much stronger controlling your anger.

3. Let go – Let it go, some things are beyond our control so just let it go.

4. Feel good – Switch your brain to something more interesting, some other sensations like below:

  • Eyes –  Watch something which is of your interests or funny etc. Take a walk in nature etc. Or Read something interesting.
  • Ears – Sooting music can really bring your mood up
  • Taste – Eat something which you like.
  • Skin – Take a warm bath or go swimming.
  • Smell – A fragrance which you like most

Based on these go try it out, and be less angry more healthy!!

Should we have (at least) two careers

Should we try and have two or three careers simultaneously, this can provides loads of positives, in terms of monetary benefits, more fulfilling, utilizing our varied skill sets in multiple verticals etc…

But does this work in Indian or rather Asian context? Here are some of the points which do not allow us to jump in two pools so easily:

1. Keep Everyone Busy Syndrome: Keeping Employee busy is one of the key thoughts ingrained deeply in all employers/managers and bosses. The notion is to keep everyone under you busy. I remember one of my previous company, we had a finance manager, his idea was if u want to ensure that your team is performing best, keep them as much busy with work as possible. It implies that getting the time out of your one career is difficult and not exactly friendly to your current employer. You can get similar or better ideas, from Trade Wise, if you follow the page!

2. Stable job and financial well being: Once we are in a stable job and financially secure, we do not want to invest in another career. Raise your hands who all are in govt jobs/ public sectors earning enough, do u want to become a guitarist as other career option? Nah not many …

3. Commitment towards Personal Growth: If we need to have two careers we should have a commitment to our personal growth since some of the careers path like music or creative side takes much longer time to get productive in terms of returns. We are born with the mentality of doing things for short term money, fame or peer pressures. Developing a career and then choosing another takes lots of time/patience and commitment.

4. Lastly, lesser job opportunities: Some of the graduate students are not even able to get one single job, thinking about two is out of the question.

Personally, I think opting for two careers is definitely a great idea and can be very fulfilling but whether we can take it up?

God fearing or God loving?

Are you God fearing or God loving? Do you know the difference? The litmus paper test is whether you love yourself or hate yourself? If you love yourself you will believe in God in a logical way. If you fear God and do things just to please him, it implies that you are trying to bargain something from him and you do not actually understand yourself and God. And do not love yourself, as you don’t understand…

And since you do not understand you will live in fear.

Believe

In a small village, there was a family, they were barely able to make their ends meet. Father use to work as a labor traveling daily to a nearby city and comes back in evening with a small amount of money. There were no savings and all they earned were spent daily.

He has a son and a daughter who wanted to go school but since they didn’t have any money they cannot go. One day the boy found a 100 Rs note stuck in one of the paths near their home. He took the money and showed it to his mother and sister. All of them first became very happy but then mother decided that we should wait for the person who lost the money, he might be back for the money.

In the evening father returned and learned about the money and how the boy has found it. He also said that let’s wait for whoever the money is to return. Hence they all waited with a skeptical mood that someone will be coming to get the money back. But no one came that night or the next day or even a week.

After some time they understood that no one will be coming for the money, as he forgot or lost it.

100 Rs was a big amount for them, so they decided to save it and use it only when required. The money in the house seems to have given new hope and power to the father, now he goes early and instead of manual labor he tried doing carpentry help work, which he knew a bit. That increased his daily earning and slowly it grew. Mother, the boy, and the girl also had new zeal, the boy started helping her in nearby household work, and the girl started going school. After some time the boy also started going to school.

That 100 Rupee note was still intact and saved by them. As things improved both of them topped in school exams and went to college with scholarships. Slowly they also started earning after graduation and allowed the parents a peaceful life.

The 100 Rupee note is still intact with them. As if it’s a savior and god send a message to them to change their ways. Believe comes to us from very different and unexpected ways, keep watching for those and believe in it…