Fish looking for the Ocean…

Fish looking for Ocean

I heard this story about a fish. He swims up to an older fish and says: “I’m trying to find this thing they call the ocean.

The ocean?” the older fish says, “that’s what you’re in right now.

This”, says the young fish, “this is water. What I want is the ocean!

-Soul

We are running to get life, while life is running away!

-Anon

Why be happy only 10% of our lifetime?

Small things in life.

Why be happy only for the big moments in life?

Why can’t we be happier, laugh more and make merry for the smaller moments?  Why can’t we lower our bar to get excited and be happier about the small things?

If we divide life into two parts :-

The first part – Smaller, daily, or routine things that happen. It constitutes 90% of our lifetime. Smaller things like:- 

A casual laugh with friends.

An emotional smile with your other half.

The tasty food.

Smell of Coffee.

Sunlight in your face.

Playing with your kids.

Helping others sometime going out of way.

Play games with your family & friends.

These smaller moments happen almost daily and frequently but we choose to either ignore it or bypass it watching in a drunken stupor looking something beyond them…something bigger, holding ourselves back for the big moment to come.

Second part – Bigger, larger life events that happen. It constitutes 10% of our lifetime. Bigger events like:–

Got selected into a good job.

Got your salary hike.

Bought something new and bigger than your neighbours. A car, A house.

Travel to some exotic place.

There may be more, but the above does not happen more than 15-20 times in our lifetime.

So why depend on these bigger moments that are rare to make us happier and keep waiting?

Sure we should strive for the bigger moments but if we are happier with the smaller things in life i.e the 90% part, these 10% will automatically be with us.

This is the reason children are happier most of the time as they are happy and excited about smaller things in life.

So smile 🙂 ! Be happy and be excited for the next small thing that is coming your way today.

Let’s stop setting Goals…

Why we set up Goals? A simple answer is to be successful. If you are a sports-person winning the sport. If an entrepreneur then achieving a revenue level or key metrics.  And if a student aiming to excel in exams to get a good career.

At the same time, I am sure our fellow sports-person, business competitors, or classmates are also setting similar goals.

But only a few of us achieves these goals.  So what differentiates between setting Goals and achieving them –

The Systems(Process) is the differentiator, which we build consistently not Goals.

Here are few problems with setting Goals:

Winners and losers have the same Goals

Every Olympian participating wants to win gold, but only a few wins it. Every candidate wants to get a good job. And if successful and unsuccessful people share the same goals, then the goal by itself cannot be the differentiating factor between the winner and the losers.

It’s with the systems, the process that makes winners achieve their goals.

Achieving the goal brings only a momentary change

Imagine you worked hard and got your dream job, but after joining you got complacent in the job. As your performance drops, you start feeling frustrated and if you don’t mend ways soon you may have to leave the job.

Achieving the goal only changes our life momentarily. Maintaining that level or as we aspire more we need to be always performing or learning at that level, in fact, keep increasing our bar.

So Goal even if its achieved, is temporary, not a long-term achievement. 

Goal restricts our happiness and limits motivation

Once I reach my goal, then I’ll be happy. The problem with a goals-first mentality is that you’re continually putting happiness off until the next milestone. 

In this case happiness was always something for future self to enjoy. 

When all the hard work is focused on a particular goal, motivation to keep working hard drops once we achieve it. Whereas in life there is always the next level of aspirations.

If we enjoy the systems, the process we will be much happier and will be consistently achieving success.

Goals without Systems makes us dependent on luck

Without proper systems, we may achieve a goal or may not there is no surety. In the end, it’s about performance but unless we are sure about ourselves, it’s left to chance. Mentally it is accounted as being lucky if we achieve the goal or unlucky if not.

Edison’s failed 10,000 times before perfecting his electric bulb, do you think he was dependent on luck or goal setting? If he would not have followed the process diligently, again and again, it’s not possible to achieve such a feat.

Even luck favours Systems and Consistent hard work. 

So enjoy the process, build the systems and don’t worry about goals, it will follow you around.

Why I stopped reading self-help books…

No matter how many self-help and motivation books I read if things do not move as planned the feeling of despair creeps in.

But if we look at it closely things rarely move as per plan for anyone, it’s either good or bad based on our perception of the situation.  

In the end, nothing is as good as it seems or as bad as it seems. And the feeling of despair will go away as the new day comes.

So whenever the feeling comes in I remember this quote from Gita:

Whatever happened, happened for the good. Whatever is happening, is happening for the good. Whatever will happen, will also happen for the good.

– Bhagavad Gita

Winning the game with singles…

In cricket there are 2 teams of 11 member each.

A team bats first and makes runs. Then the second team bats and have to make 1 run more than the first team to win the match.

If you have played cricket or watched it, you will know that the team can almost invariably win the match by pacing the runs made, being smart, and keeping the wickets instead of going at a berserk run making rate.

Pacing the “run-making” steadily gives a much higher certainty to win the game. But even at international levels, this does not happen, in fact, there is always so much pressure to make runs and win it faster.

Why? why not be smart take singles or twos and win the game rather than fall short of the targets and lose?

Maybe it’s our ego urging us to be a hero – Finish is fast, finish it mega! finish it with fours and sixes.

But at the end if its about winning game, so slow and steady has much better chance of winning.

Life is similar to that if we want to be fairly certain to succeed (Whatever our long-term goal is..). Being steady, pacing our innings gives us the best chance to win.

So let’s not burn ourselves in heroism, lets not go by what others have done to achieve, they might have got lucky or might have been trying the same for a much longer period of time, we never know.

Slow and steady still wins the race even in this digital era 🙂

What to do in a difficult life situation?

Let’s accept the fact that everyone faces difficult situations in life, and believe me, one that is more successful faces it more frequently.

Also, instead of denial, let’s acknowledge the fact that we are facing a difficult situation, that’s the first step towards finding any resolution or moving forward.

Here are a few thoughts on how we can figure out the current situation and try to resolve it:

  • Look into our pasts: If we have handled a similar kind of situation earlier? Dig within the self, understand within and the situation, that gives the perspective to move forward.
  • From other people (s) (Or their history):
    • People who have already faced these issues, talk to them, learn from them, inspire, and read about them. Take their help to resolve it.
    • Take help from family or friends, who are closer. Any friend who listens to you…understands you. This is one of the reasons to have good friends in life.
  • Compare yourself with others: Again everyone faces problems in life, but some are not even fortunate enough to be in the place where we are today. Think about them, how are they coping & happy, and take inspiration from them.
  • Moral values: Do you follow moral values? (Might be part of religion), if yes dig into it and find what does the moral values suggest, be truthful to it, and resolve it.
  • Leave it to Fate, God, or Kismet: Yes sometimes doing nothing, acknowledging and letting it be, is the best solution (Old Hindi quote “जो होता है अच्छे के लिए होता है” Meaning “Whatever happens happens for good”).

In the end, it’s more important to be happy 🙂 and keep feeling better about ourselves. Any situation we are in is part of learnings to move forward…

Sense of Entitlement fails us…

An attitude of entitlement scares us away from trying harder.

It doesn’t increase the chances to get what we want. And it ruins the joy of the things making us guilt conscious.