Asking for help is strength, not weakness…

Despite what you might think, expressing vulnerability and asking for help, clarification, or input can be a sign of strength and confidence, not weakness.

It requires confidence  to acknowledge the short comings. Whereas one who is waiting to solve everything by oneself is indulging on ego and insecurity.

So don’t worry and go ask for help…

Let’s be honest, learning isn’t fun…

Learning is hard

Learning is hard, it requires self-discipline to learn. But its a misconception today that learning should be fun & interesting and if it’s not fun, skip it and move on to something different. In fact, this is a big problem for the coming generation as they misconstrue that learning can only be when it’s interesting.

Whereas we know that initial attraction to a subject or activity is very different from actual learning. Actual learning requires hard work, self-discipline, and a lot of patience.

Learn what you are interested in, really?

As a student, if we only learn what we are interested in then we will never learn anything. Think about it, what have you learned in Maths? Guitar? any Subjects? unless you are pushed to learn, practice & kept working on it on regular basis.

Yes, the initial attraction may help to jump into it mainly because we get motivated by seeing toppers, seniors(parents), or successful people in that field but that’s just the first attraction, as soon as we dive in, if we don’t endure hard work and be patient we cannot learn & succeed.

As the saying goes

All “overnight” successes take 10 years of learning

– Jeff buzos

Yes, there are rare individuals (Gifted ones) who are born with deep interests in one area but still if they do not pursue it with willpower, they haven’t been successful. 

Another problem with “Learning what you are interested in”, is that our interest changes as we grow. It changes based on our environment, surroundings, and peers.

So if I truely follow my interests, I will not learning anything, as interests keeps changing.

Even kids today get too many choices in school. Today an eleven-year-old student is given many different options to choose from, Chess, Guitar (or any musical instrument), Cricket, Gymnastics, whatnot, you name it and it’s available in schools. Are they able to learn? Nope. Because of initial dabbling, they know a bit but couldn’t learn or perform it even to a basic level. 

Once the kid crosses an age, by giving choices and allow switching between them they develop the tendency to shift goals as soon as the hard part of learning starts. These choices and switching, also lead to Attention deficit, they cannot focus on one single thing for long.

I would rather that today’s schools let them focus on one thing and teach them to learn the subject or activity at a much deeper level. And be honest with them that learning isn’t fun.

When you know how to learn one thing, then you get good at learning, which goes a long way in life to achieve success.

The most successful people in the world are always lifelong learners. They fully understand that their level of education directly determines their quality of life.

-Jim Rohn

So what we can do as a student (If want to learn) or teacher, parent, or seniors guiding kids to learn?

Do lot of research on what you want to learn and why:

Before choosing any activity or subject understand what drives you and how it can be achieved by taking this path, do a lot of introspection. Do research on the subject or topic, the best part is in today’s digital era it’s easier to find a lot of details about any topics and then choose.

The end goal is to understand what you will achieve or envisage what you will become if you go down this path. In fact, this also helps keep us motivated to follow the path.

For kids, parents/teachers can help them envisage their dreams. Also what & how they want to do way forward and decide.

Apply brain as well as heart before choosing to learn.

Talk to seniors/experts in that field if possible:

Talk to seniors, teachers, or relatives who have already achieved a level and understand from them. What they feel after going thru the journey in this field? That will help you in deciding whether it suits you or not.

Once decided don’t switch or allow switching:

Learning anything big or small will have hurdles and need hard work, but unless we cross them we will not learn. Also apart from the subject or topic, the biggest learning is “How to learn”, which is very different for every individual, there is no set path. But continuous learning is the most important skill you need to develop for a successful life.

Environment impacts a lot:

Lastly get a good Mentor & Peers who are learning the same, this is the biggest reason to get into a good college, school, or community which has a renowned faculty and environment for that subject or activity. Moreover, this gives you a social nudge (Peers, Collagaes) to be motivated and keep learning and growing in the chosen field.

Follow a routine for learning:

Set a daily routine to learn, study, and practice. This will help make learning much easier than just random bouts of learning doses. Make it a habit, so that at later stages, if you want to learn something similar, you can just replace the current subject with a new one and fit into that habit…

Overall Learning is critical for achieving success, happiness, and freedom in life. So let’s ensure we learn “how to learn” and impart our coming generation(s) how to learn the best way possible.

Always remember:

“Whatever advancements happen the way of learning will be the same” 

Anonymous

Winning the game with singles…

In cricket there are 2 teams of 11 member each.

A team bats first and makes runs. Then the second team bats and have to make 1 run more than the first team to win the match.

If you have played cricket or watched it, you will know that the team can almost invariably win the match by pacing the runs made, being smart, and keeping the wickets instead of going at a berserk run making rate.

Pacing the “run-making” steadily gives a much higher certainty to win the game. But even at international levels, this does not happen, in fact, there is always so much pressure to make runs and win it faster.

Why? why not be smart take singles or twos and win the game rather than fall short of the targets and lose?

Maybe it’s our ego urging us to be a hero – Finish is fast, finish it mega! finish it with fours and sixes.

But at the end if its about winning game, so slow and steady has much better chance of winning.

Life is similar to that if we want to be fairly certain to succeed (Whatever our long-term goal is..). Being steady, pacing our innings gives us the best chance to win.

So let’s not burn ourselves in heroism, lets not go by what others have done to achieve, they might have got lucky or might have been trying the same for a much longer period of time, we never know.

Slow and steady still wins the race even in this digital era 🙂

What to do in a difficult life situation?

Let’s accept the fact that everyone faces difficult situations in life, and believe me, one that is more successful faces it more frequently.

Also, instead of denial, let’s acknowledge the fact that we are facing a difficult situation, that’s the first step towards finding any resolution or moving forward.

Here are a few thoughts on how we can figure out the current situation and try to resolve it:

  • Look into our pasts: If we have handled a similar kind of situation earlier? Dig within the self, understand within and the situation, that gives the perspective to move forward.
  • From other people (s) (Or their history):
    • People who have already faced these issues, talk to them, learn from them, inspire, and read about them. Take their help to resolve it.
    • Take help from family or friends, who are closer. Any friend who listens to you…understands you. This is one of the reasons to have good friends in life.
  • Compare yourself with others: Again everyone faces problems in life, but some are not even fortunate enough to be in the place where we are today. Think about them, how are they coping & happy, and take inspiration from them.
  • Moral values: Do you follow moral values? (Might be part of religion), if yes dig into it and find what does the moral values suggest, be truthful to it, and resolve it.
  • Leave it to Fate, God, or Kismet: Yes sometimes doing nothing, acknowledging and letting it be, is the best solution (Old Hindi quote “जो होता है अच्छे के लिए होता है” Meaning “Whatever happens happens for good”).

In the end, it’s more important to be happy 🙂 and keep feeling better about ourselves. Any situation we are in is part of learnings to move forward…

Sense of Entitlement fails us…

An attitude of entitlement scares us away from trying harder.

It doesn’t increase the chances to get what we want. And it ruins the joy of the things making us guilt conscious.

The wrong answer…

Why do we always get mind-stuck being wrong or reaching a wrong answer? Whereas the wrong answer is our best friend.

Factually we know that there will be more wrong than the right answers as we try things. Let’s say 80% wrong answers and 20% with the right answers. This fact only implies that we should keep trying more and more.

And the wrong answers lead us to more right answers future on…so our chances increase as we do try.

In the end, it’s the number of attempts that makes all the difference, the more we try the more chances of success.

But we fear trying in case it leads to wrong answers…whereas a person who has succeeded or been right has simply tried more number of times.

So lets not worry about getting wrong…and keep trying…