Difficult Conversations

In your job or in a relationship you need to give negative feedback or have a difficult conversation on something you want the other person to change or improve on. We keep avoiding them for the fear of damaging our relationship or it backfiring on us making the situation worse.

However postponing it never works, leading to a much worse problem later for both you and the other person. Here are some of the simple and practical rules, to biting the bullet:

Have the discussion as soon as possible: The more you delay the conversation the more difficult it becomes. Imagine yourself in other person’s place; the earlier you know your mistakes, the easier it is to learn and improve it. But as more time elapses you are committed to the mistake and hence want to justify it. Same is true for the other person.

Accept that the other person may not be happy: Nobody likes unfavorable feedback. But remember the bigger picture, the feedback is for their own good, so don’t sugar coat and get diverted with what’s important. Make them understand it’s for their own improvement and growth.

Clear content with facts: Let your words do your work for you. Say what you mean. Imagine that you are a child storyteller and that it’s important that person understand you. If your counterpart distorts what you say, repeat it just as you said it the first time. Write it down with actual facts and dates, do not improvise while discussing. In case if new facts come up, you should pause and reschedule it for later discussion but stick to a script.

Polite but firm word phrasing: There are lots of different ways to say what you have to say. Some are temperate; some baldly provoke your counterpart with loaded language. If your counterpart dismisses, resists, or throws back your words, he’s not likely to hold onto your content — so choose your words carefully.

Neutral tone: Tone is the non-verbal part of the message you’re delivering. It’s the inflection in your voice, your facial expressions, and your conscious and unconscious body language. These carry emotional weight in a difficult conversation. It’s hard to use a neutral tone when your emotions are running high. That’s why you need to practice it ahead of time, rehearse it if possible.

Go ahead use the above rules and ease your “Difficult Conversations”…

Decisions or Determination leads to success?

Is it the decisions u take or ur determination that leads to success?

Decisions: shall i give this exams?, whether i should participate?, shall i join this company or that?, there are so many decisions that comes in our way but does each decisions becomes so critical that we keep muling over it every time. We always keep pondering whether we have taken right decision or not. That analysis keeps on going on and on…

So here is the question: does our decision or our determination / hard work is more important for success? Whether its success in terms of job, money, career .. Go thru any of your past decision and think even if it was wrong decision but you were determined to work and achieve something you would have done it.
May be not in first attempt but if you really want something and are determined to achieve it. YOU will achieve it..

So its your determination your will to achieve something that will decide whether you succeed, not your past decisions, or for that matter future decisions and or failures! Stop pondering ur pasts, and work hard to achieve what u want..and dont worry on wrong decisions..

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
― Winston Churchill

How to learn from your mistakes….

Lot of us think that this is such a small thing, we learn from our mistakes do we ? Step back and think when was the last time you had done mistake in office? In your home? And have you learnt from it ? What did u learn ? At least for me it goes blank …

Ever wonder why we don’t even remember our mistake forget learning from it. I think its because we do not accept responsibility for it, we dont accept its a mistake and next time we will not do it again. Or do it much better. One of the main reason we ignore mistake and do not accept is fear of failure.

And because of ignoring the mistake and not accepting we keep doing same mistake again and again, Whereas successful people they accept it and learn from it and rise….Remember this:

[quote]Mentally strong people accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes. As a result, they don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.[/quote]

Its all about people…..

Being in startup companies from past 10 years, have come to realize success of a company is all about people…

Have you ever wondered why ? I think the single most important reason is how the team tackle failures and that’s why a cohesive team plays significant role. To coup up with failures & pressures etc people and their trust in each other is critical. Skill set / Education/ History etc etc all goes for toss once you see failure, all these might help you stand but what lets you go further and further is ur colleagues ur friends and their trust in you..

Also these are the scenarios which makes or breaks the company and real leaders emerge out of it. A person attitude in this case is single most important criteria, in general seeing a failure people get scared and run away from it including all of us.

Hence hire or get a team with good attitude rest will follow…