Right from childhood, we seek to shield ourselves from vulnerable feelings like disappointment, hurt and diminishment. By building a wall out of our behaviors, emotions, and thoughts, we protect ourselves from the big bad world. But to live and lead with courage, as we already know, we must let ourselves be vulnerable. This means letting down our walls and recognizing protective thoughts and behaviors for the defense mechanisms they really are.
One of the most pervasive types of self-protection is perfectionism. To get success in any field, we must rid ourselves of perfectionism. To do so, let’s start by busting some of the myths around this damaging phenomenon.
Perhaps the most damaging myth of all is that perfectionism is about self-improvement and striving for excellence. But in fact, perfectionism is really about attempting to win approval. Most perfectionists are raised in environments that praise their exceptional performance, for example in athletics or school. As a result, perfectionists develop a damaging belief system that follows them into their adult lives, anchoring their whole sense of self in accomplishments and brilliant execution.
This locks perfectionists into an exhausting behavioral pattern of pleasing people, perfecting efforts, performing for others and proving themselves. People with a healthy drive for success, on the other hand, are much more self-focused and inspired by asking themselves how they can improve. It’s a stark contrast with perfectionists, who ask ‘what might others think of me?’
Significantly, leaders who armor themselves with perfectionism often assume that this way of thinking will bring them success. They couldn’t be more wrong because there is a much darker side to perfectionism, going way beyond the need to please.
Disturbingly, research shows that perfectionism is associated with addiction, depression, and anxiety. Furthermore, perfectionists are more likely to miss opportunities and experience mental paralysis that keeps them from fully engaging in life. Why? Because their fears of being criticized or not meeting the expectations of others keep them from entering the messy arena of life, where healthy competition and striving for true greatness occur.
So take off the armor of perfectionism and jump into the fray of life. You might make mistakes in the process, but you’ll gain something valuable in exchange: the courage to succeed.
What we can learn from Good-to-great companies?
How does strategic management differ at good-to-great companies versus mediocre ones?
# Success comes from many tiny incremental pushes in the right direction.
# New technology should be viewed only as an accelerator toward a goal, not as a goal itself.
How do the people and culture differ at good-to-great companies versus mediocre ones?
# Team drives successful transformations from good to great. Right people in the right place are the foundation of greatness.
# Success requires confronting the nasty facts, while never losing faith. Leaders must create an environment where the brutal facts are aired without hesitation.
# A culture of rigorous self-discipline is needed to adhere to the simple Hedgehog concept.
Follow the above steps to build a great company.
Anita came late to the office and felt guilty about it? Still, she completed all pending tasks that day, came up with more ideas and achieved much more. With the baggage of feeling guilty, but determined to take action, she had a much better day than usuals.
There are numerous examples like these, where we performed much better because of feeling guilty.
Still why guilt is considered a negative emotion or a bad thing? Why shouldn’t we use it to get our determination and achieve goals?
But there are guilts like someone cheating or stealing from others, we may define as morally incorrect guilts. So let’s categorize “Guilt” as (In want of better names to Type 1 and Type 2):
#Type 1: – Less offensive Guilt: Not meeting ours or others expectations without actually doing something morally incorrect. Being late to the office, or eating more sweets or binge tv watching are the kinds of guilt which leads us feeling down but is not that big a crime.
#Type 2: – Offensive Guilt: All other types of “Guilts”, morally incorrect types, cheating or purposely hurting someone. These are the cases that come when another person is hurt or hurts the social well being and more.
We should use “Type 1 Guilt” to our advantage. In fact, sometimes it happens; we feel so guilty about not studying earlier that we put extra effort to study the whole night. So why not consciously use it to improve ourselves…
As long as we control the guilt(emotion), we can use it to help us grow…What u say?
Disclaimer: Please use this at your own risk 🙂
छिप-छिप अश्रु बहाने वालों, मोती व्यर्थ बहाने वालों कुछ सपनों के मर जाने से, जीवन नहीं मरा करता है। सपना क्या है, नयन सेज पर सोया हुआ आँख का पानी और टूटना है उसका ज्यों जागे कच्ची नींद जवानी गीली उमर बनाने वालों, डूबे बिना नहाने वालों कुछ पानी के बह जाने से, सावन नहीं मरा करता है। माला बिखर गयी तो क्या है खुद ही हल हो गयी समस्या आँसू गर नीलाम हुए तो समझो पूरी हुई तपस्या रूठे दिवस मनाने वालों, फटी कमीज़ सिलाने वालों कुछ दीपों के बुझ जाने से, आँगन नहीं मरा करता है। खोता कुछ भी नहीं यहाँ पर केवल जिल्द बदलती पोथी जैसे रात उतार चांदनी पहने सुबह धूप की धोती वस्त्र बदलकर आने वालों! चाल बदलकर जाने वालों! चन्द खिलौनों के खोने से बचपन नहीं मरा करता है। लाखों बार गगरियाँ फूटीं, शिकन न आई पनघट पर, लाखों बार किश्तियाँ डूबीं, चहल-पहल वो ही है तट पर, तम की उमर बढ़ाने वालों! लौ की आयु घटाने वालों! लाख करे पतझर कोशिश पर उपवन नहीं मरा करता है। लूट लिया माली ने उपवन, लुटी न लेकिन गन्ध फूल की, तूफानों तक ने छेड़ा पर, खिड़की बन्द न हुई धूल की, नफरत गले लगाने वालों! सब पर धूल उड़ाने वालों! कुछ मुखड़ों की नाराज़ी से दर्पन नहीं मरा करता है!